A LIBRARIAN’S ORIENTATION
What this book explores
Cartoonist and former pastor David Hayward addresses couples whose shared religious certainty has changed because one partner doubts, deconstructs, or leaves faith. Drawing from experience and pastoral observation, he discusses fear, disclosure, difference, control, sexuality, parenting, community loss, and the possibility of protecting relationship without forcing agreement.
EDITORIAL NOTE
Why it’s in the Library
Belief change rarely occurs in isolation, and this book names the relational stakes that individual deconstruction narratives often miss. It can help partners distinguish honesty from coercion and unity from sameness. The Library uses it as experience-led orientation for established, basically safe relationships, not as a prompt to disclose beliefs where housing, finances, custody, or physical safety are at risk.
Good starting place if…
You are in a sufficiently safe relationship affected by belief change and want direct counsel about staying connected without requiring theological agreement.
Know before you begin…
This is not couples therapy, legal advice, or a safety plan. Hayward's voice is personal and practical rather than research-driven, and no book can predict whether a relationship will remain viable. Joint reading or disclosure may be unsafe in coercive, violent, financially controlling, or custody-sensitive situations; private support and safety planning take priority.